In case of work productivity:

"Why don't you make your mouth useful. Say goodbye."

"My pony's for sale. Yes, it fucking works! I wanna get a stripey zebra instead."

"Can you hold... can you hold my starfish? It doesn't like it when I'm getting excited. Oh look, it likes you! Its legs are all cree-py cree-py."

"I'd like to tell you what a wonderful person you are. But that would make me a septic gash of a cunt who quite frankly had no concept of right or wrong."

Sleeptalkinman.blogspot.com

Via nalsa

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