Overheating...

Something is wrong with my body. I'ts 6:30 am on a windy July monring, I'm sitting in jeans and a shirt and I'm sweating. The middle of winter and I've spent the last 2 nights waking in a sweat, despite clading myself in only boxers and a T. Despite sleeping with open windows and despite Alex sleeping peacefully beside me. I am utterly exhausted.

Last night I downed 2 valium alongside 2 paracetamols, determined not to have a repeat of the night before where I was lucky to nab 4 hours' interrupted sleep. Considering I snoozed lightly last night, waking many times both from heat and sounds drifting in my window I can only imagine the absence of rest if I had not medicated myself. This cannot go on. The activity of mind is a familiar antithesis to sleep, but this troubled thermoregulation puzzles me. When so very tired my body usually fails to heat itself sufficiently and I must snuggle. Never before has my body temperature felt so high in the absence of fever. Even in this unseasonal warmth is it not explicable.

Yet the clock marches towards seven, and my drowsy head is soothed by Shostakovich, despite the speakers on this (work) pc running from mono onboard sound. An early start for an early finish as I must be home by three. The plumber is coming to replace my 1950's fittings and to reward my persistance with a new 180L hot water system. The old one has thermostat issues (which it seems to have transferred to me). I also need to renew my driver's licence and I can only imagine the quality of the photo given my current state. It should be sufficient to scare any copper into letting me go about my business ;-)

And I have a paper to write, despite mental and physical fatigue. I have little choice: the next month will be hectic and there's little i can do to change that, except get some rest. Somewhere sleep lies in wait for me, somewhere lies an answer to my body's erractic behaviour. For now, with the sun risen, my task is just to make it through the day...

Fly me away from here...

Nearly 9am and I'm yet to do any actual work. My mind is slowly starting to focus enough to potentially work on that pesky paper, but I'm procrastinating over a cup-o-soup. So far this morning I have tried (and failed) to get around the work download blocking to download some good new classical music from Epitonic, followed by surfing the journals of androkles and ruralrob to steal all my favourite images on the hard-drive. I then tested out the various images as my wallpaper - the almost square shape and high resolution of my TFT screen means few images work well. I've settled on a lovely pic from Ian of ornamental chillis, replacing my earlier desktop of Robby's "the Gut".

I eat so much when i'm tired!

Outside the sky is immensly blue and the wind is blowing. I never grew out of getting hyperactive on windy dys and i long to be out there, bundled up and battling my way along a bluff or sea-side cliff somewhere, or up in the mountains, watching the clouods scudding and listening to the trees sighing.

So here's the plan: no caffeine, MSG or sugary foods after midday. Regular bedtimes and wake times. Turn off computer at least a half hour prior to bed and start getting some more exercise once the back is up to it. I think I'll also visit my GP and enquire about Melatonin supplements to kick my body-clock back into rhythm. It's just a pity I'm a natural night person, but with Alex up at 5 I've already been woken, so any further sleep isn't good enough quality to make uo for a later bed-time, so I'll just have to adjust to early nights :-(

Meanwhile, enjoy pondering the brilliance of my friend, Mr. Escher...