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I am built for action, not for style...
When does the quest for self-improvement cease? When do we decide to stop trying to prove our worth to the world (and to ourselves) and just enjoy the process of living? Do we ever believe we are good enough?
We find ourselves role-models, people we put on a pedestal to give ourselves someone (something?) to look up to. But get to know your idol and chances are you'll realise they are not the pillar of confidence and contentment you imagined. Chances are they are also trying to make themselves better, finding their own idols to emulate. (Is this necessary human behaviour?) They may be wiser, cooler, brighter than you in aspects you value, but you may be streets ahead of them in something they feel lacking in themselves. So are we raising up our equals under false pretenses?
***
Today I saw a girl I went to school with. In the sweltering heat she was the essence of cool: chic, stylish, together, looking as fresh, fit and beautiful as she did seven years ago. And for a moment I wanted nothing more than to be like her. Then I realised that her mould is not for me, and after 25 years I'm no longer trying to fit into it - I'm learning how to define me. And I'm learning that if i wasn't my oddball, quirky self, if life hadn't taken me along this path, that I wouldn't be where I am today. And where is that? Surrounded by some of the most wonderful, beautiful people I have ever met. People whose company I treasure and whose opinions I value above all others. And these magical people call me friend (and one so much more). These people whom I love and respect feel the same way about me and for that I must have something right. I must be good enough (in this moment) - I must be ok.
When does the quest for self-improvement cease? When do we decide to stop trying to prove our worth to the world (and to ourselves) and just enjoy the process of living? Do we ever believe we are good enough?
We find ourselves role-models, people we put on a pedestal to give ourselves someone (something?) to look up to. But get to know your idol and chances are you'll realise they are not the pillar of confidence and contentment you imagined. Chances are they are also trying to make themselves better, finding their own idols to emulate. (Is this necessary human behaviour?) They may be wiser, cooler, brighter than you in aspects you value, but you may be streets ahead of them in something they feel lacking in themselves. So are we raising up our equals under false pretenses?
***
Today I saw a girl I went to school with. In the sweltering heat she was the essence of cool: chic, stylish, together, looking as fresh, fit and beautiful as she did seven years ago. And for a moment I wanted nothing more than to be like her. Then I realised that her mould is not for me, and after 25 years I'm no longer trying to fit into it - I'm learning how to define me. And I'm learning that if i wasn't my oddball, quirky self, if life hadn't taken me along this path, that I wouldn't be where I am today. And where is that? Surrounded by some of the most wonderful, beautiful people I have ever met. People whose company I treasure and whose opinions I value above all others. And these magical people call me friend (and one so much more). These people whom I love and respect feel the same way about me and for that I must have something right. I must be good enough (in this moment) - I must be ok.
