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Frustration
Feb. 24th, 2004 05:27 pmGet me out of this cycle! Here we go round again, descending into chaos...
I don't know what to do about you. You say you want the things I do: stability, organisation, to function together now as a unit. But your actions contradict your words. What do you really want? What are you prepared to do to get it? And don't tell me not to worry because it's only been a week. Too many times week has followed week until the months pile up and the tasks become even more unmanagable and we end up back down here again. Here, with me upset and you confused as to why.
Tell me what you want; what you're thinking and feeling. Please be an active participant in this process or tell me you want out. I can't go on being the disciplinarian, telling you what to do, when and how. I hate being that way - I hate being a nag and I hate telling you how to live your life. Stop deferring to me and participate! Tell me what the hell is going on. If you don't like the way things are going, then fine, we'll go back to being 2 individuals who jusst happen to live together - I'll look after me, you look after you. But I'd much rather not.
Sweetheart I love you. I want us to work out, to move forward and grow together. And I want my life back under control and I can't do that while you languish in chaos; no real plans, and no adherence to plans when we sit down to make them. And the whole point of the plan was to help you reach your goals - so I could help you reach for the sky, but you don't seem to want to and you're dragging me down too.
And I'm not saying that I don't carry blame in this, just that it can't be done if we both don't have our hearts in it. And I'm so tired of running from one crisis to another. I'm tired of doing all the pushing and still getting nowhere. I've had enough of being tired and strained - I need to get off, to stop and gather myself together so I can begin to go forward with a sense of direction. There's not a lot to get done, just a few weeks of sticking to our gubs and the both of us working together to form new habits, new routines. If we do this now, by next semester it'll all be second nature and you can soar, all the bullshit dealt with, no last minute panics, no rushing around to sort crap out.
Please tell me what you want, so I can best figure out how to love you.
I don't know what to do about you. You say you want the things I do: stability, organisation, to function together now as a unit. But your actions contradict your words. What do you really want? What are you prepared to do to get it? And don't tell me not to worry because it's only been a week. Too many times week has followed week until the months pile up and the tasks become even more unmanagable and we end up back down here again. Here, with me upset and you confused as to why.
Tell me what you want; what you're thinking and feeling. Please be an active participant in this process or tell me you want out. I can't go on being the disciplinarian, telling you what to do, when and how. I hate being that way - I hate being a nag and I hate telling you how to live your life. Stop deferring to me and participate! Tell me what the hell is going on. If you don't like the way things are going, then fine, we'll go back to being 2 individuals who jusst happen to live together - I'll look after me, you look after you. But I'd much rather not.
Sweetheart I love you. I want us to work out, to move forward and grow together. And I want my life back under control and I can't do that while you languish in chaos; no real plans, and no adherence to plans when we sit down to make them. And the whole point of the plan was to help you reach your goals - so I could help you reach for the sky, but you don't seem to want to and you're dragging me down too.
And I'm not saying that I don't carry blame in this, just that it can't be done if we both don't have our hearts in it. And I'm so tired of running from one crisis to another. I'm tired of doing all the pushing and still getting nowhere. I've had enough of being tired and strained - I need to get off, to stop and gather myself together so I can begin to go forward with a sense of direction. There's not a lot to get done, just a few weeks of sticking to our gubs and the both of us working together to form new habits, new routines. If we do this now, by next semester it'll all be second nature and you can soar, all the bullshit dealt with, no last minute panics, no rushing around to sort crap out.
Please tell me what you want, so I can best figure out how to love you.
