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shapeofthingsI wanted to write something to reflect on the last year, but it’s difficult to separate out 2018 from so much that’s come before. The last five years are so closely threaded into where I am now, and the five years before that are where much was set in motion. So let’s start there, and see where we get to.
Ten years ago I’d just begun to change my path: I’d packed up most everything I knew and moved to Hobart. About to turn thirty, I was in a young marriage that was already floundering, and was oscillating in and out of serious illness with Grave’s disease. My hope was the Hobart would set life back on track: a new city and new job to mend both my marriage and my health.
Eight years ago I was finally regaining my health following my second dose of radio-iodine, and with that found the resolve to end my eleven year relationship with Alex. I’d tried so hard to carry us both for so long, and had lost all faith that he’d confront himself and become an equal in partnership. I was single, and about to be tossed a career opportunity that opened up a path away from science.
Six years ago I I’d made myself a small, sustainable home in a centenarian cottage with an unruly back yard I turned into a wonderful veggie garden. My days were filled with good things: taiko drumming, swimming, tea with friends, and most weekends I went hiking. Work had shown me the power of systems to instigate change and I was growing curious about what more I could do to really lead change: Peru was calling…
December 2013: I was finding my feet in Lima as an international development volunteer with Peru’s national parks service. I saw in the new year from the rooftop of a hostel in the mountain town of Huaraz, having just completed an utterly spectacular overnight trek in the Cordillera Blanca. Alastair and I drank hot tea with honey, lemon and pisco as the streets and rooftops around us exploded with fireworks.
December 2014: Arriving in Melbourne just in time for New Years, road-tripping from my parent’s place back down to Hobart, I was struck by how wealthy, arrogant and entitled I found the people here. Reverse culture shock proved a lingering issue through the next year as I relocated to Melbourne and spent a year in full-time study.
December 2015: Freshly awarded a Master’s degree and giving my best to a new relationship, I spent the year’s close on the slopes of an active volcano in New Zealand’s Tongariro National Park. I spent a month travelling – hiking and kayaking - distracting myself from the job hunt and housing challenges that lay ahead.
December 2016: Although I saw out the year in Tasmania for a wedding, surprising myself as much as anyone, I was still based in Melbourne. I’d stayed for my relationship and finally landed a job with the potential to lead somewhere I wanted to go, though the year had been stressful. Unemployment, social isolation, financial stress and a relationship that was increasingly destructive had made the year strained.
December 2017: Another Melbourne city year ticks by, and what a doozy it was! The year started with my relationship imploding and me being frightened enough to pack up and flee. I bounced around three different houses before finally landing in my current place at the end of the year. I started doing policy stuff at work, got fit in the climbing gym, did some pretty great hikes and gave the whole dating thing a go (too much, too soon). I did a lot of hard work with myself through therapy. I set up a house and now own furniture again. I started making new Melbourne friends.
Two interstate moves, two career changes, one year overseas, a divorce, an abusive mess of a relationship, a Master’s degree. Outdoor adventures from humble bushwalk beginnings through to trekking in the Andes, rafting the Franklin, kayaking Wilson’s Prom and taking up climbing. Working on ways to make the world brighter and reduce environmental harm from the personal to the global scale, butting up against disillusionment and exhaustion time and again. Making oh so many mistakes, yet continuing to learn from them.
Which brings me up to 2018…
Ten years ago I’d just begun to change my path: I’d packed up most everything I knew and moved to Hobart. About to turn thirty, I was in a young marriage that was already floundering, and was oscillating in and out of serious illness with Grave’s disease. My hope was the Hobart would set life back on track: a new city and new job to mend both my marriage and my health.
Eight years ago I was finally regaining my health following my second dose of radio-iodine, and with that found the resolve to end my eleven year relationship with Alex. I’d tried so hard to carry us both for so long, and had lost all faith that he’d confront himself and become an equal in partnership. I was single, and about to be tossed a career opportunity that opened up a path away from science.
Six years ago I I’d made myself a small, sustainable home in a centenarian cottage with an unruly back yard I turned into a wonderful veggie garden. My days were filled with good things: taiko drumming, swimming, tea with friends, and most weekends I went hiking. Work had shown me the power of systems to instigate change and I was growing curious about what more I could do to really lead change: Peru was calling…
December 2013: I was finding my feet in Lima as an international development volunteer with Peru’s national parks service. I saw in the new year from the rooftop of a hostel in the mountain town of Huaraz, having just completed an utterly spectacular overnight trek in the Cordillera Blanca. Alastair and I drank hot tea with honey, lemon and pisco as the streets and rooftops around us exploded with fireworks.
December 2014: Arriving in Melbourne just in time for New Years, road-tripping from my parent’s place back down to Hobart, I was struck by how wealthy, arrogant and entitled I found the people here. Reverse culture shock proved a lingering issue through the next year as I relocated to Melbourne and spent a year in full-time study.
December 2015: Freshly awarded a Master’s degree and giving my best to a new relationship, I spent the year’s close on the slopes of an active volcano in New Zealand’s Tongariro National Park. I spent a month travelling – hiking and kayaking - distracting myself from the job hunt and housing challenges that lay ahead.
December 2016: Although I saw out the year in Tasmania for a wedding, surprising myself as much as anyone, I was still based in Melbourne. I’d stayed for my relationship and finally landed a job with the potential to lead somewhere I wanted to go, though the year had been stressful. Unemployment, social isolation, financial stress and a relationship that was increasingly destructive had made the year strained.
December 2017: Another Melbourne city year ticks by, and what a doozy it was! The year started with my relationship imploding and me being frightened enough to pack up and flee. I bounced around three different houses before finally landing in my current place at the end of the year. I started doing policy stuff at work, got fit in the climbing gym, did some pretty great hikes and gave the whole dating thing a go (too much, too soon). I did a lot of hard work with myself through therapy. I set up a house and now own furniture again. I started making new Melbourne friends.
Two interstate moves, two career changes, one year overseas, a divorce, an abusive mess of a relationship, a Master’s degree. Outdoor adventures from humble bushwalk beginnings through to trekking in the Andes, rafting the Franklin, kayaking Wilson’s Prom and taking up climbing. Working on ways to make the world brighter and reduce environmental harm from the personal to the global scale, butting up against disillusionment and exhaustion time and again. Making oh so many mistakes, yet continuing to learn from them.
Which brings me up to 2018…
no subject
Date: 2019-01-01 08:23 pm (UTC)That last photo reminds me of the cartoon drawing of you decked out in exploring garb. :-)
no subject
Date: 2019-01-13 01:19 am (UTC)